Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
time to smoke my breakfast
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
