Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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