"it" just moved
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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