Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i've created a new STD.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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