So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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