Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
