Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
