singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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