We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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