Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I could fuck to npr.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
