'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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