She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
