I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
