DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
