my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
