she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
