I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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