Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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