i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
