the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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