i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
