I wish I could teleport
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
