What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Swine flu is the new snow day.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
