words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
