If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this beer tastes like vomit already
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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