You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
