I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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