U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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