I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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