You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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