Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
