I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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