Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
