if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
