Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
