In the future we'll all be gay
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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