just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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