You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
