using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
