Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
