I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
