Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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