i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Someone shit on the floor
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I would ride that face into the sunset
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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