So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
