She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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