I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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