The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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