As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
