I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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