dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
ttyl tear gas
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
