Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
