I wish life had little blips of pornography
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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