just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
